Part II: Uncapped and Untamed
All I set out to do was remember to take my cap off the lens and figure out how to take a picture with a Nikon D7000, but here is what I learned instead:
Frequently asked questions when carrying around Nikon D7000:
1. “ARE THESE GOING ON THE FACEBOOK!”
2. “You know…you can take my picture if you want…”
3. “Why are you doing that?”
5. “Your not going to photoshop my face onto Hulk Hogan’s body are you?”
6. “Do you want fries with that” (Eh, okay, maybe that one didn’t totally have to do with the camera, but if I wasn’t taking pictures I wouldn’t have been by that McDonald’s!)
As well as…..
How to break into your own car
1. Find someone who knows how to break into cars
2. Become a girl (if you are already a girl you may proceed to step 3)
Note: if becoming a girl is not possible in your current situation please refer to the alternative step.
(Alternative) Throw rock through window.
Had I known the reaction a professional grade camera would solicit from strangers I would have started wearing one as an accessory, just to make friends. Some people threw their limbs out in exaggerated poses, others offered their unsolicited input on my content choice and one eyed me with McCarthy-esq suspicion while peering through a window. However, none were more helpful than the two ink artists from Tattoo You.
It was getting dark when my partner, Lauren, and I were trudging back to the car. My butt was a little wet from unnecessarily rolling around on the ground to get that “awesome” angle of that…..piece of trash. It had been a hard day of playing photographer, and we were ready to leave when I reached in my pocket for the keys, but all I felt was that piece of chewed gum I left in there last week. My heart sank as I peered into the window, and there they were, just lying on the seat of my locked car. Accompanied, of course, by my cell phone, wallet, jacket, Lauren’s cell phone, and Lauren’s wallet. Apparently, we wouldn’t be eating anytime soon, good thing I had that chewed gum.
Between smart phones, Triple A cards and the invention of, oh whats it called, the spare key, this kind of situation was really not supposed to be feasible in this day in age. So, before Lauren went Neanderthal and threw a rock through my window, I decided to venture into the nearest establishment, Tattoo You. Their assistance can effectively be summaraized in the following quotes:
“I can get it open for you.” (Tattoo artist 1)
“We have extra needle wire!” (Tattoo artist 1)
“I hope no one thinks were stealing this and calls the police.” (Lauren) “Ha, not in this neighborhood!” (Tattoo artist 1)
“Let me go get someone more experienced at breaking into cars.” (Tattoo artist 1)
“I haven’t done this in forever.” (Tattoo artist 2)
“This is such a handy talent!” (Lauren) “My parole officer didn’t think so…” (Tattoo artist 2)
Two types of needle wire and a determined “GOD DAMN, YOU WILL OPEN” later, the “more experienced” tattoo artist came back into the shop and tossed the keys my way! While I joke about the ease with which they aided us, I would like to whole-heartledy thank those two men with words I thought I would never say.
Thank you, for breaking into my car. =)