Pretend journalist, Lindsey Wehking, reporting for duty.
Attention all journalism students at the University of Missouri’s School of Journalism, this is an intervention. Day in and day out I watch as you run around town shoving your recorder into the face of locals, barely able to keep it steady because the shakes are so bad. I hear you when you sit next to me in the library with your foot frantically tapping the floor in what sounds like the beat of CNN’s World News theme. I see you late at night, hidden behind a mound of cups with eyes blood shot, and drool seeping from the edge of your mouth while refusing to leave until you have perfected youre lead. And, worst of all, you just spent the last of your money on refillable mugs from RJI.
I know, as inspiring journalists, the neurosis is natural, but the amplified and abounding energy to act on such neurosis is detrimental to the heath of your peers, sources and yourself. Little journalists put down that cup of coffee and step out of the Starbucks! Many of you are already just a newspaper ball to the head away from cracking and this is not a vice you can afford.
If something is not done soon students will explode, sources will be forever scared away and Starbucks will have the media in their cup. Therefore, I will be encouraging Chandler Deaton to employ techniques of institutions past. Drink coffee, off with your head!
Together I truly believe we can beat this addiction and make the MU campus a more harmonious place for all. Below is an article stipulating the specifics of the “Drink Coffee, off with your head” movement and history.